“Our beliefs and habits cause us to drop any visual or sensory input from our awareness in order to match up with our ‘internal map’ of reality.” @johnassaraf
What is your internal map of reality? Do you even know that you have one?
Psst…I didn’t know it for a very long time.
It changed when I was introduced to coaching through journaling ✍️. For the very first time, I could see my thoughts 💭👀. For the very first time, I was in control.
Yes, it was scary. If I could make a picture of my mind at that time, it would look like the busiest airport you have ever visited.
Just imagine: you are travelling, you have to switch planes in a different country. You don’t know the language. There are signs but you have no clue what they say. You try to ask people around but everyone is so busy trying to figure out their own “shit.” The “Information ℹ️ desk” that is supposed to make your life easier is not even open. Your mind is spinning around. The worst scenarios of being stuck in an unwanted situation are becoming very vivid. Emotions are rising up. You don’t want to miss your flight! You don’t want to be here! You start to feel lost, lonely and uncomfortable. Somebody Help Me!!!
Journal writing helped me to become aware of how my “internal map of reality” is running my life.
So what is an internal map of reality?
Your thinking patterns are your map. Thinking patterns are responsible for how you view the world and what choices you make.
Tip: Get to know your “internal map of reality”. It will change your life in a positive way. You will become calmer and happier.
Being a pilot is better than being a passenger. As a pilot, you are in control. You are never going to miss your flight.
Have you ever felt nervous in new situations? Reluctant to introduce yourself to people in this networking event? Afraid to ask questions? Believe me, you are not a stranger at all. And it is a pretty scary experience. Why am I bringing this subject of “being new to a thing” up? First, because I was reflecting in my journal on things that I put on my “Beginner To-Do list”. The list contains things that I do not feel comfortable with because I have never done them before. I was procrastinating on some of them just so I don’t have to face them. But since I decided that my word for the next year is being BOLD, I had to go back and check. Surprisingly, in the last two days, I accomplished two things that were pretty high on my list. High also means that I was the most afraid of them!
- I organized and hosted an event that turned to be successful. I had to reach out to people, find a presenter, promote and lead.
I did it! I received great feedback from the presenter and from the audience. Yeah!!
- I was interviewed on local radio by one of the best speakers and coaches in the industry.
You know, it does not mean that I did not worry, that fear was not there. I was shaking inside, my voice probably was higher than usual….but the feeling of accomplishing it is more satisfying than the thought of being embarrassed. I am practising to be comfortable with uncomfortable in the areas of my life that are quite new to me.
You know what? Fear will be always part of our life. It is in our human nature. I realized that if I would let those worries stop me, I might miss out on a real opportunity. Just think, to achieve anything in life you must put yourself into new situations. Whether you’re changing jobs, joining a group, moving to a new city, or starting a new relationship, putting yourself out there enriches life and brings opportunities for a more fulfilled life. How then, to not let fear and worry stop you from trying new things?
I really admire Keith Rollag’s approach. In an article for The Cut, he says, “People tend to approach a new skill in one of two ways: Some go in wanting to learn it, while others go in wanting to master it. ‘I know I don’t really know how to do this, I’m going to make mistakes, but the fun in this is sort of figuring out how to do it,’” while the latter ‘is all about doing well, impressing others, discovering your natural talent in something.’ Going in with the humility of the learning approach allows you to enjoy yourself even as you’re floundering — after all, it’s just part of the process. Gunning for mastery, on the other hand, sets you up for failure pretty quickly.” I want to add, mastery comes with time and experience. For that, I am practising and I encourage you to do the same. What is the ‘new thing’ for you that you should learn and then master it?
Until next time…